My creative self...

I think that is a huge thing missing in my life right now. When Kris was here, he would tease me when I would create what I felt was a work of art, but he would always encourage it, whether my medium be words in short stories, paper in scrapbooking, or some form of craftyness like a family tree we make together, or some killer decorations for an upcoming holiday we would get excited about, even in my dancing, if was was particularly proud of something I choreographed, he would be behind me encouraging me, pushing me to my limits and beyond through some creative means... And lately that has been lacking.

I decorated early for Halloween knowing I would not have time later and discovered many of my favorite decor was things I made with Kris or my mom... I lost my partners in creativity.

So now that I have realized something that is missing in my life, how do I find time in a busy schedule to recapture that again? Do I set aside non existant time to enter online scrapbook challenges? these give me a deadline, which I find I usually need. Do I do what I am doing now, embrace my random impulses and express it then (Like now through my blogs)? Or do I push through the never ending list of obligations until time allows me to do something?

Well for now I think I am going to do what I have planned, focus on homework and cleaning and other obligations... and if impulse hits and time allows, splurge on my small remaining doses of creativity.

Boycotting boycotts...

I am really tired of everyone boycotting everything, Chick-fil-a, Oreo's, Target, JCP, Starbuck's, etc. Someone will always disagree with your opinion, but why boycott? How is that truly going make any positive change? Fight intolerance with intolerance? When did that ever work? The only people it hurts are the individual owners, employees of a franchise, and maybe you because you are missing out on your favourite restaurant, treat, store...

Starbuck's entire reason for being boycotted proves my point exactly! The reason people are boycotting them is because of a story that troops requested they send them some coffee overseas while they are serving, Starbucks refused claiming while they appreciate them serving, they do not support the war. What an perfect example of who boycotting hurts. Because they oppose war they won't sent coffee to our troops, how does that hurt the government who sends the troops into war? It doesn't, they will continue sending troops until they, the government, end the war... not starbucks. But because of this it hurts our troops, the little guy who has given his freedom for ours.

SO Target and JCP support LGBT, and have gay and lesbian models in their ads, so not shopping there is going to stop them from being gay? Of course not, but if enough people stop shopping there it will lead to lay offs of employees both gay and straight.

Chick-fil-a's CEO supports family values between a man and a wife... he has every right to say that, and sure you have every right to not shop there, but really the only ones it hurts are the small franchises if they lose customers, and that is not going make the CEO suddenly support same sex marriage.

ANd if OREO makes a rainbow cookie, and shows love for gay/lesbian rights, why can't you still enjoy the cookie with your family, husband, wife, etc? is it going to turn you gay? OF COURSE NOT.

So there is my opinion on the silly boycotts... I hope I haven't offended any of my friends or family, I love you all and respect your views, as I hope you respect mine... I just had several questions about a FB post recently about what it is regarding and wanted to clarify on my own page, to avoid hurtful things said on my facebook page.

Lost motivation...

I have so many things running through my head lately that I want to write on. So many things I need to do  to clean up the house. So many things to do to catch up on school. So many things to do to work on for work. So many projects I want to attempt. SO many things I want to implement for my kids. But alas, I make no effort, no change, I have no motivation... if you find mine, or have some extra, please send it my way!

(Oh and after I irrationally condensed blogs... I realized there really was a good reason for the separation... and perhaps I need to separate again)

Epiphanies...

In the last couple of days I have had many epiphanies concerning various aspects of my life, and thought I need to blog this, make note of it, tell someone, do something with these insights I found... and yet I did nothing. So now I sit trying to recall ANY of these and I am failing miserably. I am hoping I have learned my lessons and will take the 2 seconds to jot down something I want to say next time inspiration hits. I hope I keep a pen and paper closer on hand, and can write something down, at least enough to jog my memory a little. So until that time when I will once again be graced with a clear thought, and the time to follow up with it I offer this advice, take a second to jot down your thoughts and ideas, before they leave as quickly as they came...

Blog addicted...

At one point I had 7 different blogs...

A blog with my family pictures and events...
A blog for my creative writing...
A blog for my academic writing notes...
A blog to publicly post my goals in hopes of actually accomplishing them...
A blog for letters to never be seen (I write letters to people I am mad at and delete them, great anger management)...
A blog that was my "grief journal" when I lost my husband...
and this one, A blog for my creative endeavors...

I have deleted my blog for letters to not be seen, there is a reason you delete them, so you no longer hold that anger, and keeping them on record, even if just for my eyes, only rekindled that anger each time I opened it.

I am going to lose my academic blog, and just merge it with my creative writing one... I like writing, but the only reason for academic is for teachers, not myself.

I am going to keep my family one with pictures around, but make certain it remains private. that if for my family to see, not the whole world. I am open with enough of my life, my children need to be private... Kris preferred it that way.

So that brings me to the point of this post. I have had many compliments on my writing, suggesting I do more with it, pursue it somehow. I have found a few online blogs that pay for writing, I have even found a few published journals to submit to. But I have found it harder and harder to decide "where" to write my thoughts, my widow blog where I am much more open? But lately it has turned into more of a life blog including dating and other aspects. My goals have not amounted to much at all... usually just another place to vent. And let's face it in the past year while I miss being crafty, raising 4 kids alone, and working, and going to school, and trying to fit in a date here and there has been more than tricky. However, I like the "title" of this blog the most, and feel it encompasses all my passions, reading, writing, crafty, my random thoughts on life, goals, tips I happen to pick up along the way... so here is my plan. I am cutting my blog life to 3 blogs. My private family one, my school and creative writing, and this. My place for creativity, my place for thoughts on life, my goals... I am also going to subscribe to ads on this one because then I can perhaps make something of it eventually. I will keep my other blogs up... but more for my own eyes. But please pass along this blogs for others to see, and I hope to be able to add it more frequently without having to decided which blog to write on.

Scrapbook kit

So I had started this back in October... and I have loved it. I got it each month from Heartfelt Creations in Sandy, and had to make a 2 page layout with what was given to me. I have kinda been slacking on posting pictures... but here a few.

All Scrapbook Steals Challenge

This contest was extended, so my sister and I entered it, it had some great prizes... so wish us luck. (Something to keep me busy)